Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

Many first-year students face an array of issues and challenges during their first two semesters at college.  Some students feel homesick and out of place, some have difficulty with studying, and some lucky ones (like me!)  have to have an appendectomy during their second week of school.  I interviewed my RA, Stephanie Carney, to hear her take on what first-year students are always confronted with, and how transition can be hard for them.

When Stephanie first arrived at Rutgers as a first-year four years ago, she was worried about being academically successful and fitting in.  She is originally from North Carolina, so the fact that she wasn't going to know anyone was also very frightening to her.  I asked her if she her fears of entering college were similar to what every first-year student faces, and she responded with a big nod and a strong "definitely."  She went on to say that, especially with a huge school like Rutgers, students deal with a lot of anxiety, anywhere from "worrying about how well they're going to do in the classroom, to if they're going to make friends, to how they are going to compete against their peers."  She wanted to be an RA specifically for first-years in order to help off-set these issues and make their transition as easy and as fun as possible. 

The three most prominent challenges Stephanie touched on were learning how to study, knowing limits with alcohol, and relationship changes.  College is not like high school, where you can still get straight A's without putting any effort in, and she said it takes a while for first-years to realize this.  Alcohol was another issue, as students don't know their limits, which can cause them to compromise their safety and be placed in bad situations.  In order to help prevent alcohol related issues, she plans events and activities for our floor so we will be better educated.

The biggest thing that stuck with me is the third challenge she described: when relationships change. She said “Since we live in an all-girls dorm, I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten a knock on my door at 3 in the morning because one of my resident’s boyfriend had broken up with them." She would sit down and talk to them, telling them that people change over time, everything happens for a reason, and not to let it get them down, because all they can do is grow from it.  My boyfriend and I broke up the day I started school, so by Stephanie telling me this, it was incredibly comforting because I realized that many other people went through the same experience as I had.  Because of the new environment first years are placed in, it is essential that they adapt to it, which means changing the way they think and do things.  These changes are natural, and thats why many students find themselves unable to reconnect with their significant other or even friends from home after being away at school.

My interview with Stephanie made me realize that all college freshmen go through the same thing, and they should not feel alone.  I realized that Stephanie’s job was more than just signing visitors in at the front desk and holding floor meetings. RAs are there to assist you in any way possible, whether it’s to help you with your classes or giving you a quick pick-me-up. I'm a first-year myself, and when I had problems in the past, I never went to her. That was such a mistake because Stephanie, and other RAs, is a great resource. They know your name, what you like to do, and are literally down the hall from you when you need them.  More importantly, first year students should know that it’s normal for them to face such challenges and they shouldn't place blame on themselves for not knowing how to study for their first calc exam, or their relationships changing because that is detrimental to their self-confidence.  I wish someone told me that when I was struggling through an extremely difficult first semester, because all I did was beat myself up over everything.  College is a learning experience, where you’re growing, discovering, and expressing yourself in ways you've never imagined.  Take every mistake you make, and negative experience you're faced with, and learn from it because what truly is an experience if you haven't learned something from it? Over the summer, I will make sure I tell my students that.

Stephanie ended by telling me that there is so much growing that happens between the first and last month of her residents' first year and witnessing that that growth is extremely rewarding.  She feels as though she has done her job right when she sees her residents become leaders at the end of the year.                               --Madison